prologue

~Joel~

We were in the right place. I could tell; could feel it in every breeze caressing my skin, every smell that passed under my nose. The trees hid something within their depths, shadows tangling around each other, obscuring something I couldn’t name by anything in the English language.

            There was a name for what was hidden, of course. But that wasn’t what mattered.

            What mattered was that they were lying in wait for something that truly was never theirs to capture. Something mine and mine alone; something they should have never interfered with; something pure and the exact opposite of them.

            I stopped the car, stepping out and observing the building that lie in front of me. It wasn’t anything spectacularly different from anything I’d seen before, a school like any other, but what it held inside was what interested me.

            “She’s here,” I whispered, knowing instinctively, hardly daring to look at the others’ tired expressions. “I’ve finally found her.”

            Thoughts raced through my head, never slowing for a second. Inside that nondescript building, this school where I would have to pose as something I was not once again, there was a small table.

            But at that table? Something very big, or at least to me. The purpose for my whole, wretched, tormented existence. The reason we had been searching for so long, so many countless, bleak years; the one person it ever hurt me to lose. The only girl that could ever look at me with eyes so filled with passion and love.

            It was all I could do not let go of every inhibition, everything that I had trained myself for just for the chance at this moment, and run to her. I knew, though, that doing so could ruin my years of searching, all of the others’ hard work.

            Why?

Because there was a very good chance that she had no memory of me.

part one opener

Do you remember the time gone?
Do you remember tears like golden streaks across the sky?
Do you remember, do you believe it's all been said and done?
Or is it just beginning, ripping, freezing me?
Do you remember the time gone?
Or is too painful for you?
Do you remember days spent in the sun, the times we shared?
It's crystal clear to me, in memory
Maybe I've gone too far, on one of my turns
But no one can take away what I've already learned
Memory lives in shadow, nevermore will I blame
And I swear 'til the end of my life I can't forgive your pain...

- Nevermore

“In Memory”

update?

20,607 words! 38 pages, 79 in reading layout!

...update...

It the end of February, my friends. And I have 19,000 words into Au Revior.

But that's it.

Maybe it was a bit unrealistic of me to think I could get an entire book finished in 4 months. Especially with school and a social life.

But I'm working on it! Joel and Ash have had their first "date", we've gotten into his background some...it's all coming along rather nicely, I think.

[[update]]

I'm behind.

By a lot.

Remember how I was thinking about finishing up everything (well, everything in Book One) by February? Here it is, February 3rd, and I'm only 17,000 words in.

I've been fixing my computer and it didn't work and I'm severely behind. And I'm distracted - got a new person in my life, and (no lie) he distracts me from a lot. But it's all good, I suppose.

update

So, not a whole lot to say. If any of you read my other blog (screaming of the soul) then you know something's have popped up and I've been super busy. On top of that, I have all my midterms in like a week, so that leaves not a whole lot of time to write.

I wanted to be done by the end of February, but somehow I don't think that's going to happen. Sorry, all.

I hope you stick with me, though, as we try to get this thing done!

christmas present...

Just in time for Christmas, I got 16,046 words into the book! And, as an added bonus, a little tidbit from Chapter Six:

Needless to say, I was upset and I was bored. I spent some time surfing the internet and checking my email, but nothing really captured my limited attention span. What I really wanted to do was go back downstairs, where I could still hear Brett banging pans around and trying to find something new for the menu before tourist season started up, and apologize. I knew if I did, though, that he wouldn’t take me seriously.


So I hugged my stuffed panda that he had won me at my first carnival and felt miserable some more. I never wanted to get further involved in Brett’s world, and yet here it seemed I was. Here, among others like him. Or others not even like him, others that were something far different. I had no idea, since Dorian’s order had prevented Brett from telling me.